Wednesday 10 December 2014

11 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Stress

11 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Stress

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”
―C.S. Lewis
This morning, I received a long email from a reader named Evan who is struggling with letting go of a failed relationship.  In his email he explains, in rather vivid detail, the signs and symptoms of a toxic relationship that has been heading south for many years.  He admits that he needs to let go, but he struggles with it, because doing so means he must finally face reality, which requires him to let go of the idea in his head about how his life and relationship were suppose to be.
One particular line from his email really summed it up well: “I’m learning the hard way that the hardest thing in life is simply letting go of what you thought was real.”
Isn’t that the truth – for all of us, in all walks of life.  We all have an idea in our heads about how things are, or how they’re supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes us up and stresses us out the most.  Realize this.  Sometimes life doesn’t give you what you WANT because you NEED something else.  And what you need often comes when you’re not looking for it.  You won’t always understand it and that’s OK.  Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.  And then just when you think it can’t get any better, it does.
The key is detachment – letting go of the life you expected, so you can make the best of the life that’s waiting for you.  It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.  Here are some strategies for making this happen:
  1. Create some healthy space for yourself. – Sometimes you are just too close to the puzzle to see the big picture.  You need to take a few steps back to gain clarity on the situation.  The best way to do this is to simply take a short break – a breather – a vacation – and explore something else for a little while.  Why?  So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes.  And the people there may see you differently too.  Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.

18 Great Reminders When You’re Having a Bad Day


post written by: Marc Chernoff


18 Great Reminders When You’re Having a Bad Day

Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you’ve ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before.  Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clear vision again.
Last night I had a long conversation with my wise, 71-year-old dad about living and growing through adversity.  One of the last things he said before we got off the phone resonated with me so much, I wrote it down:
“It’s been my experience that most people aren’t truly happy until they’ve had many reasons to be sad.  I believe this is because it takes all of those bad days and hardships to teach us how to truly appreciate what we have.  It builds our resilience.”
Honestly, I don’t think it gets any closer to the truth than that.
Not every day is good, but there is something good about every day.  It takes a strong person to see the positive on down days.  The key, I have learned, lies in letting go.  It’s about realizing that, except for your own thoughts, there’s nothing that’s absolutely in your power.  Knowing and accepting this gives you the ability to cope effectively with life’s constant stream of little tragedies – an aptitude we call resilience.
Ultimately, you can fight life, you can do nothing but complain about what you’re missing, or you can accept everything you have and put it together to create something worth smiling about.
So with this in mind, here are some good things to keep in mind when you’re having a bad day:
  1. The right attitude is the one thing you need right now. – What you focus on changes everything.  Don’t look back when you know you shouldn’t.  Don’t worry about what you can’t control.  Don’t stress over unimportant things.  Be positive.  Seriously, the most underrated trait of all successful people I’ve ever met is positivity.  Your attitude directly determines how well you live your life.  You simply can’t live a positive life with a negative attitude.  Don’t let mental blocks control you.  Set yourself free. Confront your negativity and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.

10 Things to Remember When You’re Feeling Stuck


10 Things to Remember When You’re Feeling Stuck

Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are.
Life changes, and so can you.
“I don’t know what to do.”  “I’m in a rut.”  “I feel stuck.”  These are words Angel and I hear frequently from coaching clients and blog subscribers (subscribe here) alike.  We all struggle with this kind of mindset sometimes, and if you’re struggling right now, it’s time to push through.  There’s plenty you can do.
The truth is, you have the power to move forward no matter what obstacles block your path.  You have the power to live up to your highest vision of how your life can be.  You have the power to follow through and make significant progress on your biggest goals.  You have all this power because you have the CHOICE.  In each moment you can choose what you think, what you do, and who you want to be.
If you’re being pulled in every direction by forces beyond your control, take time to realign yourself with what you value most in life.
You don’t have to continue doing things the way you’ve always done them.  You don’t have to be held a prisoner by your old, familiar habits and assumptions.
Today is a new day, filled with new possibilities, so remember…
  1. Feeling stuck is a FEELING, not a fact. – When we feel stuck, typically our first instinct is to look outside of ourselves for someone or something to blame.  In reality, we ought to be looking at how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and how we plan to respond.  Your life is your responsibility.  While you can’t always change what’s outside of you, you can certainly change your perception of it.  And the funny thing is, when you change the way you look at things, the things themselves change.

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